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A Hairball Or Under Expressed Grief?

September 12, 2017 By sgarrett Leave a Comment

In my own personal journey with grief both the under expressed stuff and the grief I fully expressed I noticed something interesting. The under expressed grief, the sadness I tuck away, gets lonely and in an odd way attracts new grief to its side. A bit like a hairball.

You know a hairball begins with one hair all on its own behind the couch, unnoticed by the untrained eye. Not so long after a second hair with a little dust cuddles up with the first hair. Still overlooked by the unsuspecting eye. Before you know it there exists a full-blown hairball in all its glory – one that shocks the previously blind occupant.

Grief can be much the same as the unwanted hairball. It starts with one little loss and a bit of leftover or under expressed grief. This one lonely shred of grief is difficult to spot or notice on its own. It hangs around though waiting for company. A second loss occurs and a little grief is left over and joins shred one. And so it goes. It feels like all of a sudden you are grief ridden or depressed.

Two things can prevent the unwanted accumulation of grief hairballs;

  • The full and complete expression of the grief you feel.
  • The use of ceremony or ritual when loss is experienced.

When grief is present make sure you have a friend or family member who is able to receive and witness your grief. Having another person receive you is very important – you cannot grieve alone! From time to time professional help with backed up grief may be required.

It is also a great practice to create a ritual or ceremony when we do experience a loss of importance. Losses like a relationship, a job, a home, an ability, or a limb would be examples of losses that we normally do not mark with a ceremony. The use of ritual or ceremony is an excellent way we can mark the loss and make it visible, in a way giving it a physical life and a physical death. The physical ritual truly helps the healthy expression of grief.

Grief is a natural and healthy human response to loss, be aware of losses and express your grief fully with the support of a ritual or ceremony. In doing so you will prevent the unnecessary accumulation of hairballs.

 

 

 

Filed Under: Dying and Death

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sgarrett

About sgarrett

Death is one of North America’s biggest taboos. No one wants to talk about it, so we suffer bad deaths. We can die better, come find out how. Start by subscribing via rss or e-mail.

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The mission of We Can Die Better is to generously serve readers with contemporary, accurate, and well researched information regarding the intimate and important process of dying, death and grief and to do so with boldness, compassion, creativity and humor.

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