I have noticed a correlation over my years working with dying, death and grief that when healing takes place there is no blame. Conversely when blame is present there is no room for healing. Blame by the way also includes self blame or guilt. Blame seems to be this tool we unconsciously use to avoid dipping deeply into our natural and oh so raw feelings of sadness and … [Read more...]
Grief – A Breathtaking Teacher
Here is a piece of prose I spoke at the recently heldSwan Song Festival on Zoom yesterday October 17th, 2020 @ 7:00pm. Six others also spoke passionately about the need to redefine grief.... Poem To A Fellow Student By the Late Great Leonard CohenI thought about you a lot. I still do. You sat still, your hands clasped on your lap like a school child. you … [Read more...]
The Cabin
So many ghosts are here. My mom in the kitchen, Dad chopping wood. Mark and me—the children we used to be. As I sit on the bed where mom and dad slept, I hear the giggling of the little brother and sister in the bedroom. I realize that my grief for Mark was interrupted by the moving, diagnosis, and difficult dying of my aunt. I had to put … [Read more...]
The Double -Whammy of Grief During COVID-19
It is challenging at the best of times to deal with all the grief associated with the death of a loved one. It is doubly so during this health crisis. Here are some of the reasons why; Our loved one may have died alone.The cremation or burial could not be done as we planned because of social distancing.We have to delay gathering together in person to grieve.It was more … [Read more...]
When Funerals Can’t Happen ‘Normally’
During this time of crisis and challenge brought to us by Covid-19 change is forced upon us whether we like it or not. It is especially true when it comes to end of life ceremonies and celebrations. Everything has changed without our permission. We all likely have very understandable emotional responses to our usual ways of saying good-bye not being available to us during this … [Read more...]