Sometimes when death does come knocking we run up against a ‘guilt gate’ through which it is difficult to gain access. This guilt gate is self-created; a direct result of how we have treated our dying or deceased loved one over the years. It blocks our ability to grieve in healthy ways. Good news is there is a key to open this self-constructed ‘guilt gate’. You see guilt is … [Read more...]

In my work with grief and loss I have found that many of us are great grief collectors. In part because we don’t want to face the uncomfortable feelings, and partly because most others don’t want to witness our grief either. So what a lot of us do is file it in the grief file in our filing cabinet, more commonly known as our body. Over time and after we have filed away … [Read more...]

Lost Is What Was and What Was Yet to Be   Human death is only one of the ‘deaths’ we as individuals get to experience. There are many other losses we experience throughout our lives that mimic death and the ending of a relationship is one of them. Divorce is absolutely a death. The relationship started as an idea, two people engaged in the idea and gave it life, and the … [Read more...]

I am a real sock nut and enjoy wild and crazy socks. If you notice socks they have two sides as most things do in the bipolar world of ours. The outside of a sock looks awesome – the inside not so much, usually it looks kinda’ ugly, rough and unfinished. But the ugly inside is the reason the sock looks so good on the outside! Could we say the same about love and … [Read more...]

I have heard the expression Complex Grief from time to time and to be honest I don’t buy it. What I do understand is that grief can get tangled up much like a bunch of gold chain necklaces in an old jewelry box. Here is how I see it. We all have experienced multiple losses from relationship loss to job loss, to loss of a pet and the loss of a loved one to death. Each of … [Read more...]