• ABOUT
  • STEPHEN GARRETT
  • SUBMISSIONS
  • CORE CONTRIBUTORS
  • CONTACT

We Can Die Better

Bringing Death Back To Life

Classic Cremation
  • Dying and Death
  • The Grief Journey
  • Alternative Funeral Services
  • Celebration of Life
  • End of Life Planning
  • :: Training

Complex Grief or Is It Simply Tangled?

June 17, 2018 By sgarrett Leave a Comment

I have heard the expression Complex Grief from time to time and to be honest I don’t buy it. What I do understand is that grief can get tangled up much like a bunch of gold chain necklaces in an old jewelry box.

Here is how I see it.

We all have experienced multiple losses from relationship loss to job loss, to loss of a pet and the loss of a loved one to death. Each of these losses has its unique path and expression. Yes, you read that correctly! Even though you are the same person experiencing each of the losses the expression of those individual losses is its own matchless journey.

What seems to happen, at least in my experience, is that the leftover or unexpressed grief mingles or intertwines with the next loss’ left over grief and the next one gets wrapped up in the tangle and so it goes. It can look like complex grief no doubt and it is simply intertwined grief.

The key for me is to identify all the individual losses a person has experienced. While doing so help them unravel the strands of grief they are carrying that seem to feel like one big knot of emotions. Trying to approach all of it all at once IS overwhelming so lets start one strand at a time.

  • Make a list of the losses.
  • Identify the leftover emotions.
  • Express them as fully as possible using a format that works for the one carrying the grief.
  • Create a poem, a picture, a drawing, a symbol in the three dimensional world and burn or bury it.
  • After two weeks review the list of losses for any remaining leftovers and perform another ceremony where necessary.

By taking one strand (loss) at a time the person experiences that their grief knot is a doable project and seeing success they can let go fully into the process and complete the untangling of their bundle of grief.

Keeping it simple in this way creates a process the individual can succeed at.

Filed Under: Dying and Death, The Grief Journey

Learn more about End Of Life Guide Training with Stephen Garrett

A 12 Lesson Training that is available online and self-paced.

Learn more and sign up

 

sgarrett

About sgarrett

Death is one of North America’s biggest taboos. No one wants to talk about it, so we suffer bad deaths. We can die better, come find out how. Start by subscribing via rss or e-mail.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

EMAIL NEWSLETTER

Sign up to receive updates!

Receive the Free Guides!

All-Ready-to-Go-Create-Your-Own-Death-Binder All-Ready-To-Go-Talking-With-The-Funeral-Director All-Ready-To-Go-Talking-With-The-Children

My Life jo-URN-ey – Begin with the End In Mind

My Life jo-URN-ey – Begin with the End In Mind

February 26, 2021 By sgarrett

If There Is Healing, There Can Be No Blame

February 22, 2021 By sgarrett

Grief – A Breathtaking Teacher

Grief – A Breathtaking Teacher

October 18, 2020 By sgarrett

Stop!

Stop!

September 25, 2020 By sgarrett

  • 
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • 

Advertisement

The mission of We Can Die Better is to generously serve readers with contemporary, accurate, and well researched information regarding the intimate and important process of dying, death and grief and to do so with boldness, compassion, creativity and humor.

Recent Posts

  • My Life jo-URN-ey – Begin with the End In Mind
  • If There Is Healing, There Can Be No Blame
  • Grief – A Breathtaking Teacher
  • Stop!
  • Pets are Family Too!
Uncopyright Stephen Garrett & Just Alive Consulting