Often times a question people ask when they hear of a death is “Was it expected?” as if the difference between an expected death and an unexpected death is the expected death is somehow easier to bear. What I know from my personal experience with three very different deaths of family members is they are indeed different but there was nothing easier about any one of them.
My sister Jody’s death was totally unexpected and it hit much like a punch you can’t see coming. My Dad’s death was expected and we had short notice. My brother Peter’s death was a six-year journey so we had lots of notice. No matter which death of these three I look at when death happened it was so real, immediate, and so final the circumstances before the event of death didn’t matter. Jody was dead. Dad was dead. Peter was dead. It was raw mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Preparation time, pre-grieving time, and time to say good-bye and clear the slate, all vanished when death occurred.
All three of these personal death experiences were very unique and very human. None of them though were any easier than the other to accept. The raw finality of your loved one being dead, that moment, that call, that end is life at its rawest. No matter what preparation you do, ya’ just ain’t ready for the end. Expected or not it is death and final.
What are your thoughts? Leave your comments and share what your experience is.