I have often sat with people in the last few days of their lives and heard many a deathbed regret. Most of these regrets are linked in someway to people trying to fit in, not make waves, or draw attention to themselves. In our Orwellian, don’t offend a soul new age spirituality we are quickly locking ourselves inside a politically correct jail cell. The cell does not have a number.
The cell has a name – “Fitting In”
The cell has a price tag – “Living Dead”
Most of us in our own clever ways are doing our level best to fit in, to get the attention we want by not causing waves. We fit in at work to get the paycheck we need. We fit in socially to gather the friends we need. We fit in at home to keep peace in the family. We fit in, and fit in, and fit in to the point it becomes habitual and we can’t or won’t even look at our lack of authenticity and passion. And then we die full of regrets and I wish I hads.
Yet we justify it all by saying things like; “Oh well that’s just the price we pay for harmony”; “It just the way it is, I want to avoid conflict”; “Rather settle for a little less than fight”; “I can’t speak my mind for fear of being fired”; and, ‘If I really showed up people couldn’t handle me.”
I have heard and used them all and all of these phrases have only one goal in mind – keep me small and out of harms way. The price for safety and a normal life is expensive – a dull life that cannot be done over on your deathbed no matter how much you may regret the way you did or didn’t live.
The late great leadership guru Stephen Covey once said, “Begin with the end in mind.”
If you want to avoid all those nasty deathbed regrets one way to do it is just ‘Fit Out”. Celebrate your life while your alive by being YOU. Though your life will be more of a bumpy ride I can tell you that you will not regret it.
As my friend Yvonne Heath says “#I Just Showed Up”