• ABOUT
  • STEPHEN GARRETT
  • SUBMISSIONS
  • CORE CONTRIBUTORS
  • CONTACT

We Can Die Better

Bringing Death Back To Life

Classic Cremation
  • Dying and Death
  • The Grief Journey
  • Alternative Funeral Services
  • Celebration of Life
  • End of Life Planning
  • :: Training

Giving Care Can Be An Avoidance Too!

August 22, 2017 By sgarrett Leave a Comment

I have noticed over the years that from time to time care providers hide behind their care giving tasks as a way to avoid dealing with the pre-grief they may be feeling. It can be difficult to spot initially as care giving is such a noble and heartfelt form of service.

Yet, over time if left unchecked this practice of avoiding grief by over caring will spell trouble for the care provider. Here are several examples of the consequences;

  • Post death depression that often requires professional support and medication.
  • Isolation and avoidance of family and friends post funeral.
  • A loss of purpose post death especially if the care has been provided over a good length of time.
  • An inability to handle day-to-day life issues.
  • A sense of uselessness.

If you notice that a loved one seems to be over caring and not letting others provide respite and regular temporary support it would be best to address the issue head on. You could bring this issue up gently by asking such simple questions as;

“When was the last time you took a break for yourself?’

“When were you last out of the house for something other than tasks and duties?”

“When was the last time you went out with a friend for a meal or a cup of tea?”

You could also notice out loud what you are seeing;

“I know you love Mom and you look really tired and drawn. How about a day off just for you?”

“I know you like to take care of all Dad’s needs and I am wondering why you refuse our offers of help?”

“I am concerned about your health Mom I am seeing signs that you are burning out.”

No matter how you choose to approach your loved one whom is over caring approach them sooner or later. You may want to get some ideas from your local health authority, your local hospice or, your family doctor. In matters like this early prevention may indeed be the saving grace that keeps your loving caregiver healthy over the long haul – physically as well as emotionally.

Filed Under: End of Life Planning, The Grief Journey

Learn more about End Of Life Guide Training with Stephen Garrett

A 12 Lesson Training that is available online and self-paced.

Learn more and sign up

 

sgarrett

About sgarrett

Death is one of North America’s biggest taboos. No one wants to talk about it, so we suffer bad deaths. We can die better, come find out how. Start by subscribing via rss or e-mail.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

EMAIL NEWSLETTER

Sign up to receive updates!

Receive the Free Guides!

All-Ready-to-Go-Create-Your-Own-Death-Binder All-Ready-To-Go-Talking-With-The-Funeral-Director All-Ready-To-Go-Talking-With-The-Children

Grief – A Breathtaking Teacher

Grief – A Breathtaking Teacher

October 18, 2020 By sgarrett

Stop!

Stop!

September 25, 2020 By sgarrett

Pets are Family Too!

July 15, 2020 By sgarrett

The Cabin

The Cabin

June 18, 2020 By Sue Bielka

  • 
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • 

Advertisement

The mission of We Can Die Better is to generously serve readers with contemporary, accurate, and well researched information regarding the intimate and important process of dying, death and grief and to do so with boldness, compassion, creativity and humor.

Recent Posts

  • Grief – A Breathtaking Teacher
  • Stop!
  • Pets are Family Too!
  • The Cabin
  • The Double -Whammy of Grief During COVID-19
Uncopyright Stephen Garrett & Just Alive Consulting