I have worked with many folks over the years, women, men, youngers, and elders and have done so as a hospice volunteer, cremationist and reverend. Through all my experiences I have learned one thing for certain… grief does not have a timetable or schedule! Grief shows up when it does, it stays as long as it wants, and leaves when it is ready.
The wisdom, in the journey with grief, is to accept this simple fact.
Much like the weather we have models, markers, forecasts, and weather experts all designed to prepare us for what may be coming our way. And then there is Mother Nature always full of surprises!
We can complain about the conditions, get upset with the weather man, and be pissed at the Farmer’s Almanac, or we can simply deal with the weather that is in front of us. What helps in an unexpected rainstorm is not complaining about it but breaking out the umbrella!
When grief storms in to our emotional space we need to accept its here and needs to be expressed in a way that works for us. Much like picking up an umbrella when it is raining, choose a grief tool that you know works well for you and put it to work.
The tool may be meditating, it may be dancing your grief out, it may be painting your sadness. It may be gardening, walking or swimming. You may choose the tool of writing, talking with a dear friend who gets you, cuddling with your favorite pet. What ever your tool use it to express yourself as fully as you can leave nothing left in your grief tank to express.
Before you put your umbrella away you always make sure the rain has stopped. Similarly with grief, before you put your grief tool away make sure you have fully expressed yourself in a way you feel fully satisfied… at least for the moment.