There was a family upset I witnessed several years ago that could have easily been avoided by timely planning – it was a nasty upset indeed. Two family members were fighting in the chapel over whom would get their parent’s cremated remains. Yep a public, hurtful, and unnecessary upset. It affected everyone who was in attendance at the ceremony and really hurt the surviving spouse and the children. It left tarnished what was supposed to be a ceremony of loving good-byes.
Now you might say that this was an extreme example and perhaps it is, yet I have witnessed other family upsets that may not be as public but were as hurtful at a time when we could be saying our loving good-byes as opposed to fighting.
A family member who did their end of life planning well in advance and who involved the family members in the preparations told me of how graceful and loving their ceremonies for their mom were. They also mentioned that one of the primary reasons for the loving sendoff was that they worked out all their differences during the planning phase. Getting everyone on the same page well in advanced resulted in a chaos free end of life celebration.
So please do choose to have what may seem to be challenging conversations about your end of life wishes well in advance. Record them on your arrangement form, send a copy to the staff here at the Memorial Society of BC, and keep a copy for family use somewhere in the home.
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