Sometimes we may not know that our efforts are making a difference, for me I got lucky and a friend and colleague sent me this email along with a poem he wrote.
I thought you would enjoy reading both his kind note and the poem. Remember you always do make a difference to the lives of others, you just may not know it. This is a simple reminder to both myself and to you not to quit especially when it feels you are not making a difference!
“Looks like you’re making wonderful progress on your vision of getting death out of the closet. Bravo. My support groups are benefiting from your newsletters as their aging parents come to end of themselves and pass on.
I’m not sure if I shared with you a poem I wrote for a dear friend caught up in difficult circumstances following the death of his father. Below is the back story and the poem.
My friend had a difficult relationship with his father, one that was filled with anger, recrimination, and guilt. On the one hand, he felt compelled to give a eulogy that told it like it was even at the risk of embarrassing the family at the service. On the other hand, he didn’t want to give a false testimony that expressed feelings he never felt towards his estranged father. The family held their collective breath as the day of the funeral approached, knowing the whole could go bad on the turn of a word.
The day before the funeral I wrote a poem for him entitled “Funeral Song.” I felt poetry could offer some emotional insight into the painful dilemma death had delivered to his heart. After reading it, I am pleased to report he gave an honest and yet moving eulogy that preserved his integrity as well as comforted his family…”
Funeral Song by David Solie
Even when things are going your way,
Words don’t come easy on funeral day.
Mourners turn up with guarded belief,
Awaiting your words of pain and grief.
But others arrive with their heart amiss,
Suffering and grudges topping their list.
Things in the room are not what they seem,
As secrets are leaked in darker themes.
Most of us wander with both lives in tow,
A brain full of stuff that others don’t know.
For better or worse it will all be replayed,
Whatever the version, whatever you say.
Thank you. Reprinted with permission of David Solie, MS, PA
Communicating with Older Adults Consultant www.davidsolie.com