The more I work with dying, death and grief, the more I learn the importance of imbuing everything I do with love. It is the love ungiven or the love unfelt that people speak of most on their deathbeds.
It is the feeling realm that most of us have regrets about – they didn’t really feel others’ love for them or they didn’t really let others feel their love.
In my work with couples I often hear words like – “But I really love her/him.” This is a regular and common refrain.
Taking a lesson from the death bed and brining it into life the question I ask couples is – “Is your love in your actions?” Saying I love you is not enough as our dying always tell us through their loving deathbed regrets. Pouring the energy of your love into;
Making a cup of tea for your partner
Putting the garbage out
Doing the house cleaning or making the bed
Preparing a meal, or
Holding hands
That makes all the difference. All these things done without love are simply boring, mundane tasks.
Want to avoid deathbed regrets pour your love into washing the toilet bowl!
Warmly and with gratitude
Stephen
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