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Sometimes Words Just Don’t Say It

May 9, 2018 By sgarrett Leave a Comment

When I listen deeply to a client and really pay attention I can often hear in their words a prescription that will work for them in their walk with grief. This was the case with Luba whose daughter died about two years ago. She was talking about how hard it was to let go of her later daughter Linda, and that she often wished she might walk through the front door one day. Though she knew her daughter was dead, she hadn’t let go of her fully and she wanted to.

I had the feeling to encourage her to paint a picture of Linda walking away from her into a rainbow of light, not knowing Linda’s love of rainbows. Luba began to cry. We sat quietly for sometime. Luba agreed willingly to create the painting.

Here it is.

I then wondered out loud if Linda were to come back in spirit what form might she take. Luba instantly responded that she would return as a flower. The Bellflower was the Russian nickname she so lovingly called Linda – “Kolokolchik”. “Would you consider painting Linda as the Bellflower you so fondly called her?” I asked.

“Yes.” Luba replied with a deep sigh of heartfelt relief.

She created this;

Feeling the need to help Luba let go of Linda in order that she have her back spiritually I wondered if Luba would consider buying the flowering plant and add it to her garden. And that she would send me a photograph of the plant living happily on her front porch.

She agreed.

So here rests Linda in spirit and in the very real form of a living, flowering life affirming plant.

Each day for the next two weeks Luba will sit quietly with the plant for fifteen minutes a day at a time of her heart’s choosing. She will sit as if she is sitting with her late daughter Linda.

Just for two weeks and just fifteen minutes each day.

Luba continues her walk with grief and her expression of it in a way that works for her and a way that can be received by at least one other person – in this case me.

Thank you Luba for your courage and willingness to love Linda so deeply that you are willing to let her go. I am grateful to have received your grief in such a creative way, a way that worked for you.

How lucky we both are to have found your way to say good-bye to your dearest “Kolokolchik”.

Filed Under: Dying and Death, The Grief Journey

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sgarrett

About sgarrett

Death is one of North America’s biggest taboos. No one wants to talk about it, so we suffer bad deaths. We can die better, come find out how. Start by subscribing via rss or e-mail.

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The mission of We Can Die Better is to generously serve readers with contemporary, accurate, and well researched information regarding the intimate and important process of dying, death and grief and to do so with boldness, compassion, creativity and humor.

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