I hear and see the use of the term heartbreak often when we are looking at grief and loss. For me it is not an accurate term of what is really happening. It sets up this idea that if somehow our heart is breaking we need to fixed it, to mend it in some way, that something is damaged or wrong – Our heart is not breaking at all!
Remember our words are powerful and cast a ‘spell’ over our perceptions. We all know that magicians cast spells; well so do we when we ‘spell’ words. We are ‘spelling’ after all.
Now yes it may feel as if our heart is breaking, no doubt about it. Rather than breaking here is what I know to be going on.
I remember when I was young we used to play tug-of-war at our school sports day. We would all grab the rope and hang on for dear life as we tried to pull the other team over the line. Sometime the tug of war would be over in seconds so when we let go of the rope it was no big deal. There were battles tough that went on for many minutes; both team hanging on with all their might. The tug-of-war would come to an end and we would all let go of the rope. Man did the hands hurt and ache!
The holding on for dear life resulted in the hurt and ache we all felt when we let go and reopened our hands. We opened our hands we didn’t break them, though I must say it sure felt like it.
This analogy is how I see it with matters of the heart. The heartache is a direct result of opening the heart to feel. We are not heart broken – we are actually heart opening! This is a positive thing, something to celebrate not something to fix or get over.
So let us put aside the idea we are suffering from heartache and embrace the concept of celebrating our hearts opening. Yes it is full, yes it hurts and it doesn’t need to be repaired, it only needs to be shared.