Many of us believe that our grief is a burden to others and that we should just get over it so we keep it to ourselves mostly. Grief a burden? – this could not be further from the truth.
First and foremost, our grief is a GIFT not a burden. It is our love for the deceased expressed as loss and sorrow. Would we consider our love a burden? No, so why then would grief be? Sad is not bad.
Secondly, the expression of our own grief often triggers the grief buttons in the people around us. They react by making our grief wrong – as if it were a burden. In fact it is their unexpressed and hidden grief is the burden and they are carrying that. When our grief touches theirs they often unconsciously choose to avoid dealing with the grief stuff they have hidden and contained so well over the years. It looks like they are pushing you away but by doing so they are continuing to suppress their own latent grief. It is a self-protection mechanism that only works for so long.
For those of us who do want to grieve fully and express our sorrow in healthy ways it is important to find like hearted people buy viagra pill to grieve with. Death Cafes, death support groups, and grief counselors would be some places to seek out. The healthy expression of grief, authentic and unedited, will result in healthy endings and over time a much healthier person physically, mentally and emotionally.
This line from Alanis Morissette’s Thank U says it all for me.
“How ’bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out”